


Everything I do

by Miss_Barbara



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Earth, Episode: s05e20 Enemy at the Gate, Established Relationship, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-18
Updated: 2012-04-18
Packaged: 2017-11-03 21:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Barbara/pseuds/Miss_Barbara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It al starts with a note. But Rodney has dissapeared to earth and John doesn't know where is boyfriend is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything I do

**Author's Note:**

> This is set a few years after Enemy At The Gate. Jennifer wanted to have lots of babies and stay on earth while Rodney wants to go to Atlantis. When John learns that Rodney is single again he goes for his change. It takes a while but Rodney realizes that he and John have been in love for years, and they have been together ever since.
> 
> unbetaed, sorry for that.  
> \---
> 
> Also, I realized that this is the first time I am actually posting a McShep fic, so be kind!

It all starts with a note.

Have to go back to earth.  
Sorry it has to be this way.

M

He stares at the note for a few minutes before he taps his earpiece.

“Sheppard to Carter”

“Go ahead Colonel,” he hears the familiar voice.

“What is this about McKay going back to earth?” he asks and he mentally compliments himself on keeping his voice even.

“It was a medical issue; he decided to go back to earth, gated there during the last dial-out. I take it he didn’t tell you?”

“He did not. Sheppard out.”

John walks out of his quarters and opens the door to Rodney’s. It’s not empty, but everything personal and important is removed.

He is not sure what to do, but throwing up feels like a plan.

\---

Rodney was staring at the oncologist; he saw the man’s mouth move but didn’t register what he was saying, not really. 

He had been feeling sick for a while now, but he had chucked it up to stress. After his annual check-up Carson had come to him and told him. Leukemia. It was bound to happen with all the radiation around, but still.

His changes were not good and after a few hours of thinking he decided to go back to earth. Calling an emergency conference with General O’Neill (he liked him better than Landry) Rodney got permission to come home during the next dial-out. They could assess his situation at the mountain and help him from there out.

He was rich enough to afford treatment at a private medical facility and after doing some research he found one in Canada that sounded not entirely unprofessional. It would be close enough to Jeannie and far enough from other people he didn’t want to think about.

“I know this is a lot to take in Dr. McKay, but we need to get started on your treatment right away for the best chanche.”

Rodney feels oddly at peace with everything and he knows that is not right. But he knows that he has no one left, he hasn’t told Jeannie yet and all of the other people he cares about are on Atlantis.

He doesn’t think about John and just how much of an ass he was for leaving him. But he had saved John from stuttering out an apology why he couldn’t do this and why it would be better for them to break up. So Rodney didn’t look at Sheppard’s picture in his wallet, the one they took on Hawaii, every single time he had to take out his credit card.

\---

There is a big hassle as John steps through the gate, unexpected, the week after Rodney did. Harriman rushes to accommodate him while Landry just sighs and calls O’Neill over for an emergency meeting.

“There are better not more people showing up through the gate looking for McKay.” O’Neill finally says as he sits down. 

“Don’t,” he says as John starts to defend himself. “McKay has a medical issue and it’s confidential, or at least, that’s what I have been told. Now if you happen to find out that he stays in Canada, at this expensive private hospital in Vancouver, British Columbia, you did not hear it from me.”

“Well, sorry to bother you then Sir.” John smirks a little. “I guess now would be as good a time as any to take those 3 weeks of leave I have left, yes?”

“Sure,” Landry says, giving up on the illusion that he is in charge of anything around the mountain. “Just contact Harriman and he will give you cellphone and the things that you need.”

\---

Chemotherapy is a bitch, Rodney decides as he is heaving his guts out in the toilet bowl. For the past few days he has been feeling worse than ever. That says a lot considering what he has been trough in Pegasus. A nagging voice in his head tells him that it might be because he is alone this time, but he ignores it in favor of rinsing his mouth.

Grabbing the IV pole he shuffles back into his room, and his heart stops as he sees a familiar figure slouched on the chair next to his bed.

“John?” He stutters, not quite believing he is really there.

“Asshole.” John says but walks around and hugs him anyway. It hurts Rodney, his entire body hurts, but it is also comforting, so he lets John hold on for a few minutes.

“Why are you here John?” He eventually asks as he is back in bed, exhausted.

“I just came to see if you wanted to grab a beer on the Pier, What do you think I am doing here?” John burst out, fists clenching on his sides. 

“I find a note from my boyfriend that tells me he goes back to earth, no explanation, no nothing.”

Rodney blushes and closes his eyes. “I am dying John, leukemia. A year if I am lucky.”

He throws it out there, and it’s not fair to Sheppard, but nothing in life is fair.

“So you just ran out?”

“I saved you the task of having to pretend of choosing between Atlantis and me, and we both know Atlantis would win. Give myself a clean break.” Rodney’s voice wavers just a little and he blinks his eyes. Stupid medication.

“So you are just going to die here alone?” John asks, eyebrows rising to a new level.

“Plenty of people around,” Rodney waves at the doctors and nurses walking outside in the hallway. “If you don’t mind, I have to sleep, this chemo business is really taxing.”

He turns on his side and ignores John, pretends not to hear the shuffle of feet and the closing of the door. He has never felt so lonely before.

\---

Patient confidentiality be damned, John thinks as he holds a doctor up against the wall. She better them him everything there is to tell about Rodney’s condition.

It ends at the police station where he is questioned until O’Neill shows up and cuffs the back of his head. The general takes a somewhat different approach and 24 hours after John has left Rodney’s room he knows all there is to know. The leukemia is in an advanced state, but not deemed incurable yet. Rodney on the other hand has given up, and that is the main problem.

He is more prepared when he steps in Rodney’s room the next time.

“I am choosing you.” He says, making Rodney stare. “I am not good at saying things, but this is it. I choose you over Atlantis. I have put almost 20 years in, Just 7 more weeks O’Neill told me. I’m retiring and moving to Canada.”

“But I am dying,” Rodney emphasizes, because he is sure something is up here.

“I don’t care. I, well, I uhm.” And John, bless him actually turns red until the tips of his ears. “I love you okay? Don’t think for a second that anything in the world is more important to me than you are.”

Rodney is speechless, because this is John, giving up everything he loves so he can be with Rodney. “I‘ll get more bald, and sick, and I have to tell you, there is not much for you to earn.”

John’s really frustrated at this point, because Rodney just doesn’t get it. “I don’t care if I never get to fly again, I don’t care if I have to wash your shit and piss and what else of you three times a day. I don’t care about any of that. I care about you.”

“You better listen sweetie,” a nurse in the corners says, preparing some pills. “I don’t think he is going to say that ever again.”

Rodney appears to be thinking for a minute before a small smile breaks out. “Okay,” he breathes. “Okay, we can do this.”

John is just so fucking relieved that he just runs over and holds on to Rodney and presses his head next to Rodney’s in the pillow. He was so scared that he was going to loose it all, everything he has always denied himself.

He is distracted as Rodney moves to get up. “Bathroom run,” he laughs sheepily “or the whole washing shit thing is going to happen a lot earlier than I would like.”

John can’t do anything but laugh long after Rodney has moved in to the bathroom.

\--- A year later ---

“I can’t believe you find my baldness attractive.” Rodney huffs as he curls up next to John, enjoying John’s strong fingers on his scalp.

“I can’t believe you are in remission.” He tips Rodney’s head back and kisses his lips. Nothing passioned, nothing sexual but a kiss full of hope. They haven’t had sex in a year, and to be honest, it had been a really bad year for both of them, but the news that Rodney was in remission was the best thing ever.

He didn’t miss the air force, he had learned that he could live without Atlantis, although he had finished his PhD, he had to rewrite his thesis a little since it was almost 18 years old, but he had done it and now he was consulting the SGC when he wasn’t taking care of Rodney.

On the other hand, he couldn’t live without Rodney. Hugging him a little closer John smiled. “Love you,” he murmurs just quiet enough that Rodney can pretend that he didn't hear it.


End file.
